How to be the perfect mother

How would you rate yourself as a mother, 10 being the highest?

A very difficult question to answer. I spent hours thinking what to answer here and somehow decided to skip this week’s entry but here I am again writing this blog post.

I honestly cannot rate myself. I tried really but I can’t. I took a test online about being a perfect mom. My result was: Good Mom but can be better.

So what does being a perfect mother mean? If I know my child’s stats since birth, does that make me perfect? Does breastfeeding for years makes me a perfect mom? Does arranging a child to be married to the noblest or richest family makes one a perfect mother?

The truth is there is no How Tos motherhood. Each and every one of us have a different definition of being a perfect mother. Our perception of what is perfect is clouded by our upbringing, culture and social status. My mother’s style is definitely different than my mother-in-law’s or my aunts’. Does that make the other mother better than the others?

In my mind, I was the perfect mother. It was easy to judge other parents’ parenting style with their kids. The truth is no amount of knowledge from books, online forums and words of wisdom from other parents could have prepared me when I first held my daughter. Each child is unique and I have to learn in taking care of my daughter on my own. The words of experience from parents were helpful but I still have to adapt them according to my daughter’s personality. It’s a trial and error thing and I learned to accept that not all methods will work with Una. That what is perfect for others is not perfect for us.

My father once told me that being a parent is all about instinct. Following those instinct will make you more aware of your child’s well being.

Armed with information and advice from other parents, my husband and I try to be the best parents to our daughter. As for my rate as a mother, I’ll let my daughter answer that for you in a few years. Let’s just hope that I could be the perfect mother for her. And that’s all that matters to me.

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12 Responses to How to be the perfect mother

  1. Mitchteryosa says:

    I had the same thoughts and in fact “fears” just before I gave birth to my eldest.

    I don’t know how to cook, so how do I feed my children? I’m not fond of kids and I don’t have that “patience”, so how do I keep up with my children esp when they are not in the mood and throw tantrums?

    Somebody older than me told me “You’ll pick up Mitch, and here I am, I may not be a perfect mom (and a wife to my husband) but I sure know what I am doing to make them more happier.

    Thanks for joining sis!

  2. Pepper says:

    Motherhood does change us in so many ways.
    As long as in your mind and heart, you feel that you are the perfect mom, then you truly are :)
    Your daughter will sure be proud of you.

  3. Dyes says:

    i’ve read in Scream-Free Parenting that we are responsible TO our kids, and not responsible FOR our kids. We really cannot control them. We’ve seen siblings so different from each other, yet coming from the same background. We are just here to guide. And, from experience, I sometimes forget that.

    vIsItInG yOu FrOm TbE

    Drop by my STREET anytime.

    Have a great week!

  4. crazyme says:

    It’s true that each child is unique so there really is no perfect parenting style. My two toddlers came from the very same womb but their personalities are poles apart. One disciplining method may work on one of them but not on the other.

    Here’s my rating http://www.totteringmama.com/2011/04/when-sahmone-speaks-rated-m.html

    PS
    Love the pic, Gene! ang cute!!!

  5. zoan says:

    thanks for the visit at my entry. True, let us all wait for our sons/daughters to grow up and let them rate us:) as for now, all we need to do is to be the best that we can be.

  6. MommyLES says:

    once we experience motherhood, everything changes. we can drop our expensive smart phones at the scream of “MOM!” from our child. I agree with what your Dad told you, mother’s instinct will guide you in doing the right decision for your child. we all deserve a 10, for the selfless love we give our kids.

  7. jared's mum says:

    i agree with you on that one sis, motherhood is actually 90% instinctual..seems like the lot of us are playing it safe + vetoed, i’d say if i could i’ll rate all of us with a perfect 10 for all our hard work + the love we give to our little ones ;)

    • Gene says:

      our love for our offspring is the only thing perfect in being a mother. we give our best but sometimes we think that our best is not enough.

  8. shydub says:

    As long as your baby is happy, you raise a good baby and give him/her unconditional love that is perfect already in the eyes of your baby. iba iba naman kasi nga diskarte at approach sa buhay.

  9. It is really hard to rate oneself as a Mom, coz it is a learning process indeed. But for the simple reason that we are all trying our best to give our best for our kids…we all deserve a perfect 10.

    Visiting from TBE and SAHM Meme (Mine is up too at How Do I Fare as A MOM

  10. Mirage says:

    Very well said…at saka there can never be a perfect mom, we’re all imperfect humans ;D We can always be the best though. Happy weekend!

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